Member-only story
The Power of No
by Michelle Montoro
I spent the first 40 years of my life being a “yes” girl.
Craving to be popular, to be liked, to become the friend my friends could rely on.
Always.
To the point that I exhausted myself. Overwhelmed myself. Literally made myself crazy.
But I had only myself to blame.
You can’t really blame others for taking advantage of the “yes” girl.
Probably they didn’t even realize that I was saying “yes” to everyone who asked me for something. And I believe it is just human nature to keep asking the person who always says “yes.”
It is like a safety zone from rejection.
But for the sake of my own sanity, I needed to start saying “no” every once in a while. For a “yes” girl, this seems like a nearly impossible task. Saying “no” might very well be the end of the world as I knew it.
What if my friends thought I was suddenly unreliable? What if they stopped liking me? What if I became known as the selfish friend?
But what if I said “yes” so much that I couldn’t handle all the obligations that I just agreed to?
I would be unreliable anyway, right?
And just exactly what would happen if I started saying “no”?
“No” seems to be the most difficult word for a “yes” girl to say.
But can I tell you exactly what happened when I learned how to say “no”?
I was much more relaxed. And I was calmer. And I could pay closer attention to the things that I needed to do. And I could do them better. And…
No one hated me for it.
(Well, at least no one told they hated me.)
There is strength in the word “no”.
There is power in using it wisely.
There is control in exercising your right to refuse.
You actually can control your own life by establishing your own boundaries and prioritizing your own needs and obligations…
