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Yes, My Marriage is Open. No, I Am Not Going to Fuck You.

Shelbee On The Edge
5 min readNov 14, 2019

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by Michelle Montoro

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I have lost count of how many times I have had this same conversation. The venue, the delivery, and the words may vary in each situation, but the idea is just the same. Nine times out of ten, if a man finds out that I have a polyamorous marriage, he immediately assumes that there is a chance he will be having sex with me.

I am not sure where exactly this assumption originates. Is it because I am open about my open marriage? Is there an assumption that because I mentioned the subject of polyamory that I am inviting a solicitation for sex? Really, nine times out of ten, I am just making conversation. I don’t immediately walk up to people and say, “Hey, I’m in an open marriage. Nice to meet you. (Wanna fuck?)”

In fact, I rarely bring up the topic in face to face conversations at all. I mostly just write about my experiences. But even the writing about it is like I sent a mass social media invitation stating, “I am allowed to have sex with whomever I choose and I choose all of you!” I want to be clear…this is not the case. At all. Polyamory and promiscuity are not the same the thing. One does not demand the other. Not that they can’t go hand in hand. You do whatever makes you happy. You will receive no judgments from this girl.

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Shelbee On The Edge
Shelbee On The Edge

Written by Shelbee On The Edge

Michelle is a passionate scholar and a lover of words with a driving desire to help others in the pursuit of becoming the best possible versions of themselves.

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